Unboxing Your 99 Dollar Oz: What You Actually Get From Emerald Smoke
Aug
“First – I was NOT given anything, or asked to do this review!
Second – Damn! Getting thca weed and other goodies in the mail is awesome!” – Real customer review
You’re here because you’ve heard about our 99 dollar oz and you’re thinking “Yeah right, what’s the catch?”
We get it. When you are used to paying $200-400 for an ounce, a 99 dollar oz sounds too good to be true. That’s exactly why we’re showing you what actually shows up at your door when you order from us. No fancy marketing speak. Just the real deal on what you’re get from Emerald Smoke every time you order. Real good THCA flower at an unbeatable price.
The Package Lands: “Man This Smells Good!”
It Shows Up Fast (And Discrete)
Your 99 dollar oz ships within 1-2 business days because we’re not sitting around twiddling our thumbs. Tracking comes automatically because we’re not trying to play hide and seek with your order.
Real customer experiences:
- “Thank you emerald smoke for fast shipping and the tracking was excellent” – Renee Paul
- “placed it at night shipped the next morning and got it in 3 days” – Customer
- “Great customer service, fast shipping!” – Customer
No drama, no delays, just your 99 dollar oz headed your way.
Cracking Open Your 99 Dollar Oz: The Good Stuff Inside
Here’s where it gets interesting. One customer said it best:
“For lack of labeling they included some goodies. An Oreo preroll, 1gm of blue dream and 2 20 mg taffys! Lol… These guys are cool.” – Real customer getting surprise extras
What’s Actually in Your 99 Dollar Oz Package:
Your vacuum-sealed THCA flower – the star of the show Certificate of Analysis (COA) – because we’re not hiding anything
Legal paperwork – so nobody gets confused about what THCA is Surprise goodies – because we like surprising people (and customers love it)
“Man this smells good. Opened it in my kitchen and my whole house smells like weed. That’s not a complaint. I like it. The smell is amazing.” – Customer on opening their 99 dollar oz
We focus on what matters: quality flower, honest lab results, and treating customers right.
The Moment of Truth: Does Your 99 Dollar Oz Actually Weigh an Ounce?
Spoiler Alert: You’re Getting More Than You Paid For!
“WEIGHT – Was actually over. Also a nice treat.” – Customer review
Every single customer review mentions the same thing – our 99 dollar oz weighs more than 28 grams. Because when we say ounce, we mean it.
Customer confirmations:
- “Everything weighs a bit over” – Zack M.
- “This ounce of Grape Frosty weighed a bit over” – Zack M.
- “Was actually over. Also a nice treat” – Anonymous
Translation: You’re getting bonus flower with every 99 dollar oz. We don’t pinch pennies on weight.
Real People, Real 99 Dollar Oz Unboxings
Black Runtz 99 Dollar Oz: “This is Some Fire!”
The full unboxing experience:“OK, I got an ounce of Black Runtz from Emerald-smoke for $99 -15% for first order. After tax, I paid $93. Nice.”
Opening the bag: “SMELL – Man this smells good. Opened it in my kitchen and my whole house smells like weed. That’s not a complaint. I like it. The smell is amazing.”
The visual inspection: “Unbelievable score for me… the buds ranged from large, medium, and small. Gorgeous buds as well. Dense and trimmed very nicely.”
The final verdict: “100% satisfied. I’ll buy off them as my go to.”
Blue Dream 99 Dollar Oz: “This is Fire!”
Customers can’t stop raving about our Blue Dream 99 dollar oz:
- “Got some Blue Dream and I have to say it is some fire!!!! Amazing product 10/10” – Renee Paul
- “Blue dream was very good smelling like a pungent blueberry fermented wine” – Potionguy
- “blue dream is what everyone needs to try” – Ian
- “Blue dream has stronger effects” – skallywagz
Grape Frosty 99 Dollar Oz: Poetry in Motion
This customer got so excited they wrote us a novel:
“Grape Frosty’s buds, dense and sticky, showcase deep green with accents of orange hairs weaving through. A closer look with a flashlight reveals trichome heads that glisten, casting a frosty glow upon the bud.”
On the smell: “Opening a half pint jar of Grape Frosty unleashes a delightful hint of grape Kool-Aid funk, evolving and intensifying with each passing day.”
Lab Results: We’re Not Playing Games
Every 99 Dollar Oz Gets the Full Treatment
THCA content: 18-30% (that’s dispensary-level potency) Delta-9 THC: Under 0.3% (federally legal) Pesticides: Clean (we don’t mess around with your health) Heavy metals: Passed (obviously)
Bottom line: Your 99 dollar oz comes with lab results that prove exactly what you’re getting. No surprises, no shortcuts.
Customer Service That Actually Works
When Problems Happen, We Fix Them Fast
This isn’t some massive corporation where you’re just a number. When something goes wrong, real people fix it fast.
“customer service was 5/5, had an issue with my shipping address and they responded and fixed the issue quickly” – skallywagz
“Their customer service is unmatched. Excellent and super helpful” – Brandi
“I reached out to the owner to establish rapport before ordering and I’m glad I did. Very nice guy.” – Zack M.
Monday-Friday, 9am-6pm CST. Real humans who actually give a damn about your experience.
The Strain Lineup: 19 Ways to Spend Your 99 Dollar Oz
Customer-Tested, Customer-Approved
Lambo 99 dollar oz: “This stuff has a deep smell similar to a dark red wine with a nose kiss of 100 octane GAS. It’s damn good and will get you stuck” – Taylor Dixon
Sour Diesel 99 dollar oz: “Sticky Icky Huge Buds. Great daytime smoke. Gets me through the work week!” – Lex
Oreoz 99 dollar oz: “The smell is INTENSE, very very STRONG permanent marker chem smell. I keep opening the jar back up I can’t help it.” – Taylor Dixon
Green Crack 99 dollar oz: “Green Crack offers a potent, mellow high; where one can share good conversation and be high, but still alert. Really lovely stuff!” – Adrienne
From Skeptic to Believer: The 99 Dollar Oz Transformation
“I Thought There’s No Way This Was Going to Be Good Stuff”
Alyssa Stone’s complete 180: “I cant not express how happy I am I found this online.